Men and confidence in Tango: 'Feel the Fear and do it anyway'

(Copyright 2016, Simona Z.)
Full or partial reproduction of this article requires permission from the author.

Every time one of the male dancers disappears from classes and milongas for a while, I can almost be certain that the reason is that the dancer in question has been struck by a sudden drop-of-confidence-level syndrome (=DCLS)...

From experience, I know this is quite common among male dancers regardless of whether they are beginners or experienced. It seems to part of their learning journey. Of course, it is more likely to occur among beginner dancers. And while the experienced dancer tends to easily (and quickly) recover from a DCLS, this may be be fatal for somebody who has just started dancing... to the point that you may never see them again on the dance floor! 
Below is an essential guide to beginner dancers on how to handle DCLS and get to the other side unscathed and with better dance skills.

1. Set your expectations correctly. Learning to dance is like learning a language. Don't expect to be fluent after only few classes!
2. Practise, Practise, Practise! Just like when you learn a language, you need to practice in between lessons. Practising (and making mistakes!) will help your brain and body figure out how to put all the pieces together.
3. Don't be afraid of being judged by other dancers because your dancing 'isn't so good'.  All dancers went through the same trial-and-error process when learning so most of them will simply empathize with you.  
4. Make peace with your ego. If your ego is telling you that you can't dance at the milonga until you have become 'a great dancer' and that followers won't dance with you because you are not ' a good enough dancer', ..well, tell you ego to cool down!  All you need to give your partner a basic but pleasant dance experience is: basic navigation skills, a comfortable embrace and walking to the music. 
5. Get used to improvising from the very beginning. Argentine Tango is an improvised dance. At the mental level, improvisation requires the brain to reject any pre-planned form/pattern so form can be created 'in the moment' . Dancing using memorized patterns may boost your confidence initially but it will backfire soon as the brain will lose (or never acquire!) the capacity to make instant connections between the various dance components. Also, using memorized patterns will get your dance partner totally bored! To your dance partner, there is nothing more pleasant than the deep connection you create with them when you are improvising... This is the uniqueness and beauty of Argentine Tango.
6. Don't confine yourself at the beginners level forever! While you need to make sure that you attend the right classes for you level and experience, you cannot be a beginner forever! Once you understand the material being taught at your level (and have practised it!), you are ready to move on to the next level. 
7. Choose the right partner to dance or practise. A good dance partner is one that will appreciate the effort you make when dancing with her. She will also give constructive and honest feedback and always be encouraging to help you improve. And remember that you can learn from dancers of any level, beginners and experienced dancers alike.
8. Say 'Feck it!' to being a perfect dancer and start enjoying yourself. Yes, you can enjoy your dancing from day 1! Here is how:

• laugh at yourself being clumsy.
• be curious about the things you are learning. It's like playing with a new toy: explore it, break it and fix it again.
• appreciate the little progress you make.
• be excited at all the things you haven't learnt yet
• be honest with your dance partner about your dance skills: she will appreciate your honesty and modesty